Running to the bear is exhausting.

My pathology report came back today, but before I get to that… let me just say how thankful I am that I gave in and accepted help from people.

I am under a lot of stress at home without having to make dinner and such so I have no clue how we would cook dinner without burning the house down.

My pride kept telling me, ‘No, Bekah, you CAN do EVERYTHING! You can recuperate and get up and help clean and cook dinner and take care of Albus!’

But, No. No, I can’t.

I can’t do much at all because my left arm is pretty useless, I have one leg and I have a drain hanging out of my torso. I am really good at sitting here. I can plan a wedding and write thank you notes. This, by the way, has kept me sane and unstressed. I am so glad we got engaged before surgery!

I am not completely finished, of course, but I have gotten it started and I’m rather enjoying myself! If you guys have any tips or ideas do not hesitate to share.

Now, on to the not-so-fun update.

My pathology report.

My lymph node biopsy and dissection came back clear, so, no chemo! Yay!

However, my margins are another story. They came back not so clear. In fact, they came back so NOT clear that I have to have another surgery before I can start radiation. I do not know a date, yet, just that it will be next week. They are going to remove more of the tissue from the underside of the breast area. Because I’m a small person, I’m already pulled pretty tight from the first surgery. They removed all of the skin on the breast and had to stretch the skin that was left to cover the wound. I am so tight that this time we will have a plastic surgeon in the operating room as well, and he will get tissue from another part of my body in order to close the wound, if needed.

We won’t even remove my drain before surgery.  I mean, I’m still covered in steri-strips from Monday!

I’m not really feeling much when it comes to the news. I expected radiation and I’m willing to do pretty much everything the doctors want me to do in order to beat this.

I can’t walk to the bathroom, but I can run to the bear!

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