Standing on my own two feet

First of all, I want to apologize for not updating often.

But let’s just say… Ive had a crazy time planning this next surgery!

Of course, insurance caused some problems and I had to get super aggressive to get things done. Sometimes I put that type A personality to use!

My surgery was supposed to be the 23rd but as of now, it is not scheduled. I am waiting to hear back about the date.

Obviously, I’m pretty unhappy about having a really hard thing in my chest. However, we did a really good job and both implants with be the same size- apparently this is not common so I am doing a happy dance all over the place. My boobies may be more symmetrical than they were before this whole debacle. What the heck?!

Also, my oncologist is leaving! So, on to #3. Hopefully we are a good fit. We won’t know until July 21st. One day after my 29th birthday!


Now, you guys remember how I swore my butt was growing on the Tamoxifin? Well. It really grew during the 6 weeks after surgery. I tried to put on my jeans and they were just like.. .“Nope. Not gonna happen hun. Try your fat jeans.” So I did. And they are preeeetty snug. So we are in the middle of operation skinny jeans. Right now ‘skinny jeans’ refers to my regular jeans and not my actually skinny day jeans because there is NO WAY IN HELL my butt is going to fit into my size 3’s for a few months.

Among other things, this means Albus and I take pretty long walks every day. I really enjoy it and yesterday, despite my yucky fever in the morning and my slight cough, we went and walked the trails at the new park – Red Mountain Park. It was awesome! Much better than the boring walks around the apartment. Well, to be fair… those walks aren’t always boring. People are weird and we see a lot of people!


Last but not least, this blog is going to probably take a slight step to the right in content this year. Obviously I am talking more about surgeries than the actual cancer, but in the next few months I am starting a really scary journey! Scary for me- not really for anyone else, I guess. It is a big surprise though! Ill give you guys more after my first step in the scary/exciting/new adventure! It is something I have done before, but this time will be different, of that I am 100% positive!


Here are some photos from and a very short, adorable video from our adventure!


IMG_6602 IMG_6604 IMG_6606

I promise to be back sooner than usual!

After all, there is no reason this blog has to only be focused on stupid old cancer, right?!


Grace and Peace

The past 48 hours have been full of little miracles and gifts! If you are reading this and had a part in any of these little miracles or gifts, know that I (WE) feel so blessed and so thankful and so amazed.


I won’t go into detail about some of these little graces but here is a photo of a wonderful gift that was made for me!

runtothebear(ignore how silly I look, please.)

We are hanging it above the mantle. It’s a perfect reminder to us that we need to run towards this with every ounce of fight that we have!

As for an update, very little has happened.

Health wise: Had to run to the doctor’s office for quick look at this weird squishy [read: cancer is NOT squishy] lump on my ribcage, under my arm about 3-4 inches. We thought it was a fluid buildup from removing my drain a bit early (because we thought it wouldn’t be a big deal with me having surgery again…). However, it is not a fluid buildup.  It is MOST LIKELY a swollen lymph node but it may also be a fatty tumor or something equally random and weird. It is definitely nothing to worry about.

Also, I got the go ahead to use my crutches last night. It is REALLY hard to do when your arm and side are so numb, but I’m figuring it out. It also really wears me out.

The only things that keep me in a battle with progress are a) getting dressed and b) sleeping.

Getting dressed is an obvious one. Even if I am allowed to move, I just CAN’T. My range of motion is janky and sometimes it just really freakin’ hurts. Sometimes I can put clothes on; I just can’t get them off!

Sleeping is less obvious. Before surgery and since I was 15 and my knee replacement broke (which led to the amputation), I slept on my left side. I did that because well, a broken knee replacement and constantly operated on leg are just not easy to sleep on. Post amputation, it remains difficult because I have a hip stabilizer. Now that I’ve had a mastectomy and lymph biopsy on my left side, I can certainly NOT lay on it. Laying on it could cause lymphedema, so I suppose it’s a good thing that it hurts. I wake myself up trying to roll over just the slightest bit, and it is instinct to roll to that side after so many years.

And last, but not least (and also not new, I just couldn’t figure out how to put this in the previous post), Albus is home! He has learned that if he lies on my left arm I can’t lift him to make him move. He really likes that.

Here are some photos of my sweet boy:

Newest to oldest (the first two are after his return!)

albus is home

His tongue always sticks out like that…

albus selfie

I had my camera up on my phone and he bumped me, essentially taking his own photo

muddy al

He had a bath the night before..

christmas albus

Xmas Albus


My all time favorite photo of this guy.