A Return to Normalcy

Though, for America and Harding that was WWI. This is my WWII.

Isn’t that comparison so strange? War and Cancer. I think I may have read something about in a blog not too long ago… maybe? I don’t know. But it is oh so weird sometimes… (but I use it when I talk about my support system- or as you guys know them, my ‘cancer army’).

If compared to war, it’s more like the days of the draft and less like now, where we can choose to enlist. I had no choice. I never made any decisions that led to my disease (either time), which I constantly want to point out when people compare cancer to things that, at some point, involved a choice.

I had no intention of this post going in this direction, but my choice in title led me here. Oops.

The word of the day is choose, I guess!

I have chosen to return to work! My body says go for it on a few levels.

Ill explain.

I went back for a few shifts and completely ruined recovery from surgery. I became a swollen achy mess. I wound up back in the wheel chair and it was really unpleasant for me! That little taste of my previous routine was wonderful.So, I sat and sat and sat and MADE FLOWERS for the wedding (as many of you have been pushing me to do to get my mind off of things) and learned to relax again, despite pains and swelling and cancer junk.

Over the last two weeks I have added more and more activities to my day or week. For a while, all I was really doing was going to the bathroom by myself! Slowly, I started going up and down there stairs by myself. Then we stopped using the wheel chair at grocery stores for short trips, then longer, bigger trips. Then we took the chair out of the car! It was incredible. Im still jubilant over that (Why don’t people say jubilant more??!)! Then I started walking Albus every now and then (by that I mean… 2 times a week) and eventually every morning. Now I walk him every morning and sometimes in the afternoon, with only a little help from others when i am not able.

Over time, my activities could increase because the swelling stopped being so extreme and about 2 weeks ago, it became almost nonexistent. I won’t say it’s gone, because this past weekend I really did quite a bit and have just the littlest bit of fluid under my skin.

I have no idea why this much time was necessary. From my start over point, it has been about a month and a half, I guess. Now that I don’t have any pain, it was totally worth it.

My only issues with returning to daily life are due to my exhaustion. I think part of that is due to my lack of activity, so, I’m starting off slowly at work. I have 3 half shifts this week and they are on light days. Hopefully we can build them back up and I can build back up in my work outs, too. Right now though, this will be me ‘taking it easy’.

Is anyone out there on Tamoxifen? Are any of you experiencing extreme fatigue?! I think mine is worse at about 2 hours after taking it, then it does not get better.

Do you know how bad I want to do a push up? I really want to do a push up. I never thought I would say that.

No worries, though. I’m being good and building to that point in my work out.

Now it’s time for some photos from my huge weekend!

The first two paper flowers I made. These are about as big as my head

The first two paper flowers I made. These are about as big as my head

Most of the family at my grandmothers surprise birthday dinner.

Most of the family at my grandmothers surprise birthday dinner.

Me and my cousin Ella

Me and my cousin Ella

Me and my cousin Audrey. Showin off tattoos and crutches.

Me and my cousin Audrey. Showin off tattoos and crutches.

The next two are of me and two of my best friends in the whole world, at a dinner for young adults that have survived childhood cancers. Amanda and I have known each other for about 15 years and Tina and I have known each other for about 12 years.

Me, Tina and AmandaAmanda, me, Tina

And that’s it!

I was so exhausted after the weekend that it took me about 2 days to recuperate! I looked so tired that people even told me I looked tired! haha

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